Movies like 'Signs' suggest that advanced civilizations from beyond the stars are communicating with mankind ... by burning their strange yet futuristic warnings to humanity in, err, fields of corn. Might corn circles be the product of alien extraterrestrial seeking to spread enlightenment on foreign worlds; or are these strange sigils the product of two blokes called Bob with a couple of planks of wood and a long piece of rope? Vote now ... either for the incomprehensible pandect of a superior alien race. Or those two blokes called Bob?

The aliens communicate by knocking down corn. Lasers, quantum waves, gravity flux ansibles generated by artificial pulsars ... forget about it; those communication systems are just so yesterday. Any race that can cross the immense distance of cold deep space is obviously going to communicate by flattening crops in some hick town backwater where your second cousin starts looking real good as wife material.

Two blokes called Bob gets my vote. We're not too sure how those two blokes called Bob get around the world with their whirling planks of wood, but they obviously have a sick sense of humor, as well as a mighty fine collection of air miles. From the rolling green hills of Somerset to the long golden plains of Utah, there isn't a field that safe from their corn-carving pranks.

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