Piers Anthony tells it like it was (& still is)
01/09/2001 . Source: Stephen Hunt 

Fantasy novelist Stephen Hunt trawls through the pages of writer Piers Anthony's autobiography, and becomes unhinged by what he finds inside.

When I first saw Piers Anthony's new autobiography, 'How Precious Was That While' sitting on the shelves, I broke one of the cardinal rules my pocket book usually forces upon me - which is always, always wait for the damn thing to come out in paperback before you buy it.

Not this time though.

Let's face it. Frankly, I was curious. Piers Anthony - for those of you unacquainted with his works - is the fantasy author behind the best-selling Xanth series, a collection of pun-filled humorous tales which I had devoured in my own youth. As well as his fantasy books, Anthony's SF works like the Bio of a Space Tyrant series remain among some of my favorite novels.

Apart from my familiarity with his works, there was a more personal reason for wanting to get the autobiography. Here is a man who has literally made millions out of writing fantasy novels ... topping the mainstream fiction charts in the USA.

How different his life from mine. While my single fantasy novel exploded from nowhere and disappeared just as quick, a brief brilliant comet in the fantasy firmament, here is a guy who not only makes a full-time living out of crafting tales, but makes the kind of living where you can afford to build swimming pools behind your ranch.

I was expecting to find a nice warm tale of authorly contentment. Poor kid makes good, becomes rich and famous, fawning editors. Adoring fans, first class travel on signing tours, massive royalty cheques. A little SF/F chicken soup for my soul ... just like those doses of Xanth I used to take when I was at college.

Expecting it ... heck, I was buying the book for it.

Instead, to my horror, I found that it's not just the small undiscovered writers that get pissed on by the publishing houses, it's the rich famous ones too.

If you ever want a book that will put you off a writing career forever, it is this one. Having worked inside a number of publishing outfits for the last 10 years in my 'real jobs', I thought I had about as cynical and as jaded a view of the talentless tweed-wits as it was possible to develop.

But, no, Piers beats me hands down. Never, on the surface of it, has an author been treated so badly.

Basically, this is a tale of a man who - upon reaching stardom - gets treated like a brand of soap powder. A cash cow to be milked for all he is worth.

Don't get me wrong.

What he suffers is nothing that any other pioneer on the author trail isn't going to get dealt in spades ... editors who try to rewrite his works into insensibility; publishers who lie about the amount of marketing money they are willing to put behind a novel just to secure the rights to it; chinese whispers by less successful writers; blacklisting for pointing out financial irregularities in the publisher's accounts; reviewers who think fantasy is just behind Black Lace porn novels in the respectability stakes; the feuding SF small press and all its petty jealousies; SF cons where the Capital F. Fans are more interested in Filk singing than SF/F.

Yada. Yada. Yada.

What is so thoroughly dispiriting is that this is what you expect to get when you are a small and new(ish) name ... but when your sales are numbered in the millions, you'd expect the boot to be on the other foot.

You'd expect to get away with the kind of prima donna antics indulged in by rock stars - hey, Heinlien, help me throw that TV out of the hotel room. McCaffrey, Asimov, stop pissing on the wall and help me moon these Locus and SF Chronicle journalists.

But, no. It seems that name writers get the same raw deal the rest of us authors get. They just get a bigger bank balance to help mitigate the crap they have to put up with.

Well, if that's all that's going, I suppose I'd take it too (given the chance).

As well as the amusing and sad tales of %$£"£'ed up SF/F publishing, there's also a revealing look at the man behind the pen.

From a youth spent being dragged around the Spanish civil war by proto-hippy parents, to the oddly large amount of time he spends personally corresponding with fans, Piers emerges as a proud and forceful author that you cross at your peril.

As a person, he might best be described as a science fiction fantasy Victor Meldrew, with all the pathos and curmudgeonary that role implies. As a writer ... well, his fine works stand for themselves.

How Precious Was That While should be the first stop for any serious wanna-be writers, as well as the legions of Xanth fandom out there.

Stephen Hunt
Copyright 2001 Stephen Hunt