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The Dukes of Hazzard (Frank's Take)
01/09/2005 . Source: Frank Ochieng 
If you were looking for an evening of sophistication, an annoyingly hell-raising hillbilly hoot such as The Dukes of Hazzard wouldn't necessarily be your ideal cup of tea, says Frank. But then again, if you are purposely looking for moronic moments to fill your idle time then director Jay Chandrasekhar's pointless big screen treatment of the classic cornfield 1979-85 CBS series may satisfy your need for instant dumb-down entertainment. Buy The Dukes of Hazzard in the USA - or Buy The Dukes of Hazzard in the UK  The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) Warner Brothers
1 hour 46 minutes. Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott, Jessica Simpson, Willie Nelson, Burt Reynolds, Lynda Carter, Michael Weston, David Koechner, Kevin Heffernen, Jack Polick. Directed by: Jay Chandrasekhar.
Although intentionally mindless and as reckless as an open moonshine jug left on a steaming heater, The Dukes of Hazzard continues to feed the repetitive trend of arbitrarily milking the popularity of nostalgic network programming and trying to bleed the cinematic appeal for all that it is worth. The question remains: why go through the trouble of chronicling the pesky Dukes of Hazzard County, Georgia when you can enjoy their original zany exploits for free in cable TV syndication?
Chandrasekhar, known for his noted affiliation with the Broken Lizard comedy troupe that brought us memorable middling masterpieces such as Super Troopers and Club Dread, directs this flaky fuel-guzzling farce with all the urgency of an out-of-control redneck picnic. Despite the animated car crashes, colourful bar brawls and the curvaceous assets of pop singer/reality TV star Jessica Simpson's shapely buns situated in those appetizing Daisy Duke cut-off shorts, Chandrasekhar fails miserably to capture the guilty pleasure allure of the old weekly television show that inexplicably had devoted boob tube viewers in comical stitches during its heyday.
Whereas the small screen version of the Duke clan had a sense of charm and irreverence that was infectious in its offbeat mode, Chandrasekhar's big screen edition feels anaemically manufactured and uninspired in their awkward bid for country-fried craziness. The woefully sketchy script by John O'Brien (Starsky & Hutch) has nothing interesting to particularly offer the generic feature length Dukes beyond having them convey their obnoxiousness and bland blend of "good ole boy" giddiness. In fact, the movie's toothless plot involving the Dukes' agenda to curb the selfish-minded and fiendish plan of Hazzard County honcho Boss Hogg doesn't even have a creative or distinctive punch to challenge one of the trademark slapstick episodes of the TV show's reruns.
The premise of the movie reflects what the television series gave its avid fans when it left the air two decades ago-it highlights the free-wheeling antics of carousing cousins Bo and Luke Duke (played by Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville respectively) and their scrapes with the corruptive law enforcing officials led by the duplicitous Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) and his dim-witted sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. Along for the ride (both figuratively and literally) is the Duke boys' revved-up and flashy orange set of wheels (a Dodge Charger) known as the General Lee-an explosive vehicle that seems to have an adventurous mind of its own.
When the frivolous Bo and Luke aren't running any moonshine for their beloved Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson) or clashing with Boss Hogg and his henchmen then they are trying to protect the interest of their delicious-looking knockout of a female cousin in Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson). Quite frankly, Daisy has the sleekest physical dimensions (next to the Confederate flag-sporting General Lee) to admire and can probably talk the chill off of an Alaskan igloo with her sexy sauciness.
When the nefarious Boss Hogg wants to strip Hazzard of all its glorious land and mine it for coal, the Dukes have a nerve to stick their noses in his shady business venture that may drastically affect the local residents. Naturally, Hogg wants the Dukes' hides and will stop it at nothing to distract them while tending to his devious dealings. This, of course, much like the blueprint of the TV series serves as the convenient excuse for the outlandish ruckus to develop.
Hence, glorious cartoonish car chases, impromptu and clichéd fist fights, fleshy females, sophomoric quips between leads Knoxville and Scott, etc.-all is meant to enhance the nuanced nuttiness that is in the silly-minded hamlet known as Hazzard County. However, as rousing and empty-headed as the entertainment value proudly proclaims to be in the Dukes' delirious universe, there's still an unshakable staid feeling about the material that seems feebly overwrought.
Surprisingly, The Dukes of Hazzard is shamelessly uneven and not very smart about its heralded idiocy. Chandrasekhar doesn't bother to enhance the satire or take advantage of the dopey Hee Haw-induced high jinks that could give cynical life to the countless Southern-based myths and/or stereotypes in wry fashion. Instead, these Hazzard hucksters simply go through the motions of mayhem without lending any credibility to the outrageousness that occurs in their everyday existence.
There was a taste for redemption and underlying goodness that transcended television's Dukes dynasty throughout the farcical festivities. But Chandrasekhar's faceless creation is only interested in creating trivial havoc while slyly winking at the audience as if we're to automatically buy into the flaccid foolishness.
As the impish Bo and Luke Duke, both Scott and Knoxville scratch the surface as hollow hedonistic heroes who expect viewers to applaud their tired escapades. Original Dukes icons John Schneider and Tom Wopat don't need to worry about losing sleep over their film counterparts' tepid interpretation of their cherished characterizations. Although Scott (from the American Pie movie series) and Knoxville (Jackass) were riotous in other designed fare, they seem to find comfort in mugging for the camera if anything else.
As for Simpson, she comes off as mildly acceptable in the cosy role of a mouth-watering tease in tights that struts around and distracts the hormonal hound dogs of Hazzard. As long as Simpson's dialogue is brief and controlled, she escapes major criticism in her first film-starring stint as reliable eye candy. Curiously, Reynolds inhabits his take on Boss Hogg with all the stiffness of rigor mortis setting in on a corpse. And Willie Nelson's Uncle Jesse appears rather stoned and numb as if he had just attended a Grateful Dead concert on the way to the Hazzard shopping mall. Predictably, the only "Duke" that is consistently stimulating in this callow comedy is the high-flying General Lee-the driving force (excuse the pun) that provided frothy flavour to both the TV program and the current updated movie.
In some glimpses of hope, The Dukes of Hazzard can be gleeful in its subversive mode (witness the Dukes showcasing the Confederate flag-clad General Lee around sceptical black folks). But for the most part, the movie putters along without the energetic bite and imagination that gave vision to its kitschy televised inspiration from yesteryear.
In terms of the late great Waylon Jennings' catchy theme song, the Dukes of Hazzard are "just good ole boys that never mean any harm". After witnessing this synthetic surge of a nonsensical rural roller-coaster ride, one might beg to differ based on the Balladeer's well-meaning lyrics.
Frank Ochieng
(c) Frank Ochieng 2005
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