Fantasy toy brainwashed my child - mother cries for vengeance.

It's not easy being a parent. Just ask Mrs Nystedt.

It used to be that all you had to worry about was simple things like drive by shootings, under-age drug pushers, and putting your precious little muppet down for a good private school.

Now it seems, you also have to worry about the toys you give them too.

Mrs Nystedt bought a Tirblee - one of the legions of cheap furry electronic toys available for sale in the Far East - for her 14 month-old daughter, Nancy, while she was traveling in Hong Kong.

"I bought it for her to help her sleep at night," said Mrs Nystedt. "It said on the packaging that it spoke Tirbleese, and was voice activated. Initially, it worked very well with Nancy. When see woke up and started crying, the Tirblee would open its eyes, its stomach fur would light up green, and it would start making these funny noises, words like 'splimpmeebot' and 'schnoo mitee'. Sometimes it would start shaking and singing a song."

"The funny words would calm Nancy down almost immediately," Mrs Nystedt recalled. "So I was very happy. It worked a lot better than a night light I had bought a couple of months previously."

"The first thing I knew about the problem was when I was taken aside by a lady working at my daughter's nursery when Nancy was about 20 months. The girls were being helped by the staff to make one of the children a birthday card, and Nancy started making these funny noises."

"The nursery wanted to know if I was multilingual and was I trying to help my daughter speak a second language? I didn't have a clue about what they were talking about, as neither I or my husband can speak any other languages."

"When we got home that evening my daughter started talking nonsense to me and I recognized the words as Tirbleese, the same made-up language the Tirblee talked."

"It's a nightmare," Mrs Nystedt complained. "Nancy now refuses to speak anything apart from Tirbleese. I had to get a friend in Hong Kong to travel to China to buy me the little dictionary that came with the toy, as I had thrown ours away."

"The only way I can understand what Nancy is saying is to look the words up in the book. I must be the only mother in the world who can now speak fluent Tirbleese. I try to never speak it to Nancy, though, as this would just reinforce the problem."

"Her father is furious. Before I bought the wretched toy, Nancy had just learnt to say da-da - now she calls him 'rocklot', which is Tirbleese for papa."

Mrs Nystedt has investigated suing the company, but was advised that since the manufacturer was based in China and has since ceased trading, the chances of her making a successful claim are almost zero.

Oh well. Happy Christmas anyway, to Nancy and the Nystedts. Or should we say 'Glink Mecomee'?

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Toy brainwashed my child - mother cries for vengeance

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Star Trek due for a rebirth in new TV series

Galaxy Online bloats up over Christmas

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Jennifer Swann. 01/01/2001
I think it's very sad parents buy their children toys that need batteries at all. What ever happened to getting them something that'll stretch their imagination rather than just act as a pacifier?

Charles Stringer. 01/01/2001
Glad you're not my mom!

Dan Pretzlik. 01/01/2001
Charles, she IS your mom.

Tim McMunger. 01/01/2001
Lego MindStorm has batteries, and I can think of nothing better to stretch your children's abilities. Ditto buying them a PC. Get with the 21st Century, lassie.

Lucy Olsen. 02/01/2001
And if you believed *this* story, I've got a nice piece of land ....

Ed. 03/01/2001
Quite obviously, an alien culture is preparing to enslave our planet and they are using these 'furbie/turbie' creatures to teach the next generation of children their language so that they can interpret the alien's commands. The 'factory' in China shut down as soon as Mrs Nystedt and other concerned parents were on to them(rather suspect don't you think?). I'm being very serious here people, for the sake of our species, stop buying the bloody things!!

Silver. 06/01/2001
Sounds like she was getting more feedback from the toy than from her parents, so no wonder she wanted to be more like it than them. Kids pick up whatever language they hear at that age so if she heard more tirbleese than english it's hardly surprising.

WNivek77. 02/02/2001
This was the best humor I've read all week. I must admit all my old fantasy toys like Star Wars and such brainwashed me at an early age. It's sad but true,but they seemed to have helped influence me to want to be an intelligent, creative free thinking individual who never wants to stop learning, not recreate past mistakes and never be part of the herd. And shoot tiny plastic missiles at people. I'm blessd to have been able to have such influences, I guess.