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Eulogy for a Dream
Marianne Plumridge asks, with the Columbia shuttle disaster, just
what happened to our dreams of space? And will we ever dare dream
them again?
I
am a child of the 1960s. Born into that turbulent decade which oversaw
so many changes in the world.
War, peace, civic awareness, the awakening of racial issues, the
cold war, burgeoning freedoms on many levels, and personal freedoms
formerly restrained by the overworked images of the previous decade:
the American Dream; the perfect society; the unquestioning roles
formed for us by government and church.

Into all this turmoil though, came an idea whose seed was planted
in the closing years of World War II: spaceflight. It started out
as a whisper, and became a dream. The 'what if we could put a man
in space?' became 'what if we could put a man on the moon?'
Despite the personal troubles of the 'everyman/woman' around the
globe, the world watched in awe and joy as humankind achieved its
ultimate goal: flying a person to, and landing on, another cosmic
body across the void of space vacuum, and then safely returning
him home.
What happened to that dream?
The 'everyman/woman' got bored. They could not see where this space
travel would take them. After all, only a chosen few could go into
space, and that didn't include them or even their children. And
NASA's careful, methodical machinations for each flight, did little
to ease the restlessness of an increasingly 'instant gratification'
propelled populace.
The funds spent on this expensive experiment were brought into
question. The populace required that more important things closer
to home, like health care, education, social issues, be addressed
and the 'wasted' funds for the space program be redirected to them.
So it was, that following the near tragedy of Apollo 13, the Apollo
space program was cancelled after only a few more flights. NASA
concentrated the ensuing years of the 1970s into developing a reusable
spacecraft: the Space Transportation System (STS), commonly called
the 'space shuttle'.
Whatever dreams still held by the few who still wanted to go into
space, whose childhood heroes were astronauts instead of a transient
celebrity, were redirected to the space shuttle.
It would be several more years however before those dreamers realised
that the shuttle was only ever going to be used for low-Earth-orbit
flights, that we weren't going back to the Moon, or any other planet,
any time soon.
But the space shuttle was an answer in itself. It wasn't Star Trek's
USS Enterprise, although the test model was christened that, and
it wasn't the elegant pointy rocket ship that filled the pulps and
movies in the past, but it was close. Sleek, white, majestic, powerful:
it shone brilliantly in the Florida morning sunshine and it was
'real'. To some, it must have felt like we were on the very verge
of 'going out there'.
Those children eventually grew up to become the normal, everyday
'Joe' or 'Jane' whose attention was now held by the day-to-day matters
of a job, marriage, children, etcetera, while the space program
learned to 'walk' using the space shuttle, following the 1960s headlong
desperate 'run' to the Moon.
An admirable trait really: learn what you need to know first before
any more lives are lost or put at risk, and make it more inexpensive
if you can. Learn to walk before you run.
Over the years, the shuttle flights seemed to lose their mysticism
and most of us just followed them with half an eye or ear. We'd
grown complacent yet again because lifestyles were becoming more
complicated and technology more commonplace.
I continued my life: joining the Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF)
at seventeen so I could be part of the future in some small way.
Life in an enclosed community in the coalfields north of my native
Newcastle, NSW, wasn't really going to do it for me, so I joined
up.
Learning and growing came next. Throughout it all, I continued
to write my stories and poems, and start developing my artwork,
and to dream.
One day in 1985, I wrote a line of words on a blank page in the
middle of an almost empty exercise book, and then promptly forgot
about it. In January of 1986, I went looking for some notes and
found that line again. Everything else was forgotten while I gazed
at that page: something in those words 'spoke' to me.
For the next five days I feverishly worked that opening line into
a four-stanza poem. On the last night, I copied the poem out onto
a fresh sheet of paper, dedicated it to all the men and women who
would inevitably lose their lives in our pursuance of life in space,
then popped the sheet into an envelope and addressed it, sealed
it and put a stamp on it - ready go out in the morning mail at work
to a fanzine editor. Feeling pretty satisfied with my creative output,
I went to bed.
I awoke the next morning to the radio alarm blaring the news:
'Shuttle Lost'. It was the 29th January 1986 (In America, it was
still the 28th) and the space shuttle Challenger had exploded just
after liftoff. My world reeled, and I looked at that sealed envelope
in horror. The poem I had written was about space, and I had called
it 'Shipwreck'.
Like most, my days following the Challenger disaster were ones
of shock. Endless questions arose over it, with one being topmost
on everyone's lips: How could this happen? 'Everyone assumed that
because the flights seem effortless, NASA had somehow overcome all
the problems from the past. The world found out that this wasn't
so.
The erroneous thought was a mistake on the part of the public,
not on NASA's. Complacency had hit home again. We mourned. Found
out what went wrong, fixed it, and moved on. But we never forgot.
Those of us who dreamed for a better future for the human race never
forgot.
The shuttle began to fly again in 1989.
It's now the New Year in 2003. I have recently been corresponding
with someone in the astronaut office at the Kennedy Space Center
at Cape Canaveral. My husband and I promised that we'd find a teeny,
tiny Godzilla figure for a member of the crew, who was a big fan,
on an upcoming flight.
The box we sent was acknowledged received late in the month. We
exchanged emails a few times, and I shared some memories from 1986
about the Challenger. I also sent a copy of my prophetic poem, or
thought I had. The piece I forwarded was the wrong one: it was one
I'd written about the exhilaration of flight, called Pilot'. It
was a poem of freedom and hope, and thinking it was appropriate
to a new year filled with new promise, I didn't send the other.
The circumstance got me to thinking though, about 'Shipwreck' until
I was reciting it in the shower of a morning. In the end, I typed
it up, along with a new dedication to the Challenger crew, and sent
it the editor of our monthly newsletter for the Rhode Island Science
Fiction Club. My tag line on the letter was 'it seems appropriate,
somehow.'
My husband and I woke this morning to the news regarding the space
shuttle Columbia. After a sixteen-day flight, the shuttle reentered
Earth's atmosphere on the return journey and exploded 200,000 feet
above Dallas, Texas.
The debris fell to earth in devastating finality. All aboard were
killed. Another shuttle had been lost 17 years, almost to the day,
after Challenger. The newsletter with my poem, 'Shipwreck ', is
issued today, and I am devastated.
The world around us is seething with massive threat and the impending
war in the Middle East. People are scared. I am older now and the
RAAF is many years behind me. The shock I felt along with so many
others back in 1986 for the Challenger isn't as intense with this
current tragedy' even though I am still moved to tears.
My husband points out that the horrific events of September 11,
2001, a scant 140 miles away, and more recent events have immured
people against more tragedy. Perhaps too, back in 1986, my contemporaries
and I were young and had many aspirations and hopes still before
us. Losing Challenger back then was the first blow to the trek toward
space within our generation, and probably the harder to bear.
How did it come to this?
Within hours of Columbia's demise, I heard a television interview
with former Apollo astronaut, Buzz Aldrin. I was disgusted and disbelieving
when the anchorman asked Mr Aldrin if he believed that the monies
spent on the space program could be put to better use elsewhere,
like healthcare and education and the economic crisis.
I couldn't believe my ears. The self same argument that got the
Apollo program cancelled nearly thirty years ago was being trotted
out for inspection. Contrary to popular belief, the education system,
healthcare and the economy didn't visibly benefit back when Apollo
was closed down the money was just shuttled into other political
agendas because narrow-minded officials couldn't see past having
won the race to the Moon.
Why should we continue? We beat the Russians. As if that ended
the argument. The opening up of the space program and other related
industries like mineral and ore testing within our solar system
would have brought many benefits back home to Earth.
Not only that, but give the youth of all countries a goal to aim
for: something higher to aspire to together. The youth of today
seems aimless as the world gets smaller every day and the choices
of career and life become narrower.
The opportunities for work and career in future space industries
would be boundless. Also, the Russian space program hums with activity
and successes with even less of a budget than that of its American
counterpart. And the Russian economy is on a much worse footing
than the US. Perhaps because the struggle is all the harder for
them, the vision and opportunities of space are more clear.
If America ever decided to abandon their program for space exploration,
other countries would continue to leap forward. Air, or space, superiority
would no longer be the domain of the United States of America. The
people who lack vision and who suggest that America should forget
all this foolishness must needs remember this. I don't think I've
met an American citizen yet, who liked to be classed as an also
ran'.
However, don't despair. Shuttle Columbia is a tragic loss, but
the American space program will endure: perhaps even stronger than
before. The space societies of many countries of the world have
been working in peaceful partnership for the last decade to go into
space together. If only the troubled few would follow suit and raise
their faces to the stars. We live in hope.
This hope will endure amidst the pages of the speculative writings
of many authors, and the fantastical illustrations and paintings
of artists who keep the trek toward space in focus for the rest
of us who look up. They share the dream and will continue to inspire
us.
As for the crews who crossed over without ever touching earth again,
they are already home.
Apollo 1 - Challenger Columbia
Per ardua, Ad astra
(Through adversity to the Stars)
Lest We Forget
SHIPWRECK
Once, upon a silent ship,
no sound of tread was heard.
life no longer strayed there,
through corridors obscured.
Past, upon this gloried ship,
a loyal crew once served.
Alive in pride and harmony
til tragedy occurred.
Struck, a mortal blow without,
the valiant ship defied
the engulfing forces, crushing,
and in the darkness, died.
Nigh, ajar to starry space,
the static wreck appears,
a ghostly apparition
observed throughout the years.
PILOT
I have sought to sail on open sky
across the arc of blue.
And harness the forces
which drive my craft
and bend them to my will.
I would soar the path of eagles
and shoot up far beyond
- till the starkness of the sun
would burn its fiery image
in the corners of my mind.
Or set a course in the ebb of night
on a tangent to a star
and skim the rim
of its bewitching light
and follow its path afar.
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